See ya later

Photo Credit: Michelle Peters :) thanks friend!

The story begins on our honeymoon. I remember thinking somewhere in the middle of the two weeks, I can't wait for the rest of my life to be exactly this. I truly thought the honeymoon was my brand new reality and I wondered why I hadn't married Justin sooner.

The two weeks flew by and we found ourselves back in Pensacola, Florida about to begin our last semester as juniors. Before we made our first appearance on campus, it was vital he get a hair cut. I dropped him of at the barbers and this marked our first married goodbye. If you hate romantic ramblings, stop reading. Consider yourself warned. I did not shed a tear, but I definitely struggled saying goodbye for that longgg hour.

As a dating couple, we spent one Christmas and one summer in a long distance relationship. I say, with no shame, I cried at goodbye every time. I hated them and still do. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that "it's not goodbye, its see ya later", it was difficult. To me, marriage meant no more goodbyes. The occasional girls weekend or even week away I could handle, cause those were classified as "see ya later's".

So as I walked down the aisle on January 3, 2009, I was thrilled to be marrying such an incredible man with whom I'd share forever. We'd grocery shop together, fall asleep together, wake up together, eat dinner together, study together and go on at least one date per week....together.

As our plans for schooling fell apart, we slowly realized what it might mean. Being Canadian, while he's American complicates things just a bit. I can't work there, he can't work here. We had pride and for a long while, we refused to think that this all might be a part of God's plan for our lives. Trust me, we fought it till the bitter end. In fact, we fought it until Justin had just 11 days to discover he was indeed returning to a school in Florida, needed to find a place to live, we had to figure out how we'd pay the bills and prepare ourselves for goodbye. I dreaded it the moment I found out. I knew people did this type of thing all the time. Nicole Staples and Melissa Ray Scott are two friends of mine who have endured months upon months away from their soldier husbands. I admire their strength but have always said to myself, I could never. And I'm not. I'm not experiencing near the time away from Justin they have their husbands.

As I've said before, this was my thing, my burden, my test. I'm not passing with flying colours, but I'm surviving. I write this blog as a vent, it helps me, but I hope at times, I get to share something that helps maybe just one of you. What I've learned since Justin's been away is the real importance of treasuring each moment, being thankful for the small stuff, a skype date, a letter, an old photo that recreates that old memory. I've seen friends and family step up and show me they care and they're there. Most importantly though, I've learned that God has a purpose and a plan for everything. You don't have to understand what it is immediately, you just have to have complete faith that it's there. God adores me and loves me with an endless love so I gotta trust Him.

And the truth is, it's not "goodbye," because that's permanent till Heaven, mine's an extended "see ya later," and I'm learning to simply be thankful it's that and not the other.

Justin graduates May 11, 2011. That day has become my second wedding. I can't wait to begin our lives together and see the end of extended "see ya laters." I know that when that day comes, I will appreciate Justin more than I ever have before. They say you don't know what you have till you lose it. For some, you've been blessed enough to realize your gifts without losing them. You are blessed. I loved Justin before, but I wanted all that I thought came along soon after marriage, a house, a dog, kids and lavish dates. Now though, I'll appreciate him. Just him.

All this to say, God is good. I'd change this situation in a second if I could, but I can't so I am enduring the time apart and getting to know God a bit better each day. "To know Him better is my reward." If you've got a "thing" I hope you're finding the same to be true. If you're not, maybe rethink it a bit.

God Bless you guys. If I held your attention until this point, thanks for reading and listening.